The Introduction

When I was around 9 ish years old, I begged my parents to buy me a Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Do-It-Yourself book at an airport that would take my family and I to my grandparents' home state. I filled it all up when I was with my grandparents, through the entire plane ride back home. When the book asked me how many miles my future house would be away from my family house, I written down the simplest number my Architecturally Digested kid brain could muster: 0. Zero miles for the foreseeable future. Apparently, I was enamoured with my neighbor's house across from me.

Thanks, Frank. Your son wrote a series of autobiographies, including a Do-It-Yourself book, that I was unfortunate enough to get a cursed copy of that book.

Of course I know the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series is fictional, it would be silly for me to still believe that it's not!

"But What Does any of This Have to Do With The Title?"

Since the housing market is absolute mold-water, I am still at my parents' house, still in college. You could say this is a good thing, until I write down that I've been in college since 2023, and my goal I aspire to achieve is to graduate before 2030 (or at least before I'm 30 years old). I instinctively blame this conundrum on 9 year old me, writing down that I would live 0 miles from my family in that (allegedly) cursed copy of Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Do-It-Yourself book-version one. I guess the publisher updated the book to version two a few years after I got my copy of version one.

I'd assume that the first version had similar 'set in stone' effect for other kids, too. Possibly, the publisher(s) saw the writing on the wall. They could've consulted Jeff about this phenomenon, but I don't want to assume any further than that. There is one coincidence that's too uncanny: 9 year old me had written down my fate before she knew it was fate.

So, since I'm terrible at organizing my own brain, let alone focusing on one project at a time for more than 3-5 business days, I will now start a new project; this blog will be a brain dump of all my memories, and memories before I gained the skill of keeping memories.

A dog with circular glasses hypnotizes me into posting consistently

So uh. Yeah. Welcome.

-Soap Sugarbunnie